The Common Self-Heal Sprouts

December 22–26, Princeton, MA USA
Seasonal Memoir #46

Perhaps my favorite gift this Christmas was some chaga from my sister- and brother-in-law. Most people think it’s just a weird growth or burnmark on a yellow birch tree, but it’s not! It’s in fact fungi (a mushroom). Whether it has medicinal properties or health benefits, as folklore proclaims, the tea tastes quite nice, with a very subtle, earthy flavor. Even if it’s not an elixir, I’ll ride the placebo effect wave, because I’m convinced life’s mysteries can be found in the tea’s liquor. Ha.

It was an exceptionally quiet and subdued Christmas for the Richards/Todd family, with Omicron causing us to keep the circle even tighter than usual; we haven’t had a proper family gathering in over two years. People are missed, but not so much the get togethers. Hmm.

The holidays and its intersection with Covid-19 had me thinking of the four ashramas (stages) of life, according to Hinduism:

• Brahmacharya — being a student of knowledge, and essentially learning how to live a life.
• Grihastha — building a family and establishing a household. Earning money to raise children; gaining material things.
• Vanaprastha — retiring from the world of work; handing over responsibilities to the young, and becoming an advisor, gradually withdrawing from the busy world.
• Sannyasa — renouncing material wealth, and devoting oneself to liberation, settling for a peaceful and spiritual end of life.

I’ve always thought (hoped) I could avoid the classic trap of retirement, which leads to great unhappiness: that is, being forced to retire (for one reason or another), and thus moving into Vanaprastha, but mentally remaining in Grihastha, feeling as if one has no purpose or value anymore. The pandemic has surely accelerated these passages for some (with those leaving work), but for most, it’s been an excuse to simply reside temporarily in the latter two stages.

While I’m still pursuing an active career in educational leadership, all the while preparing for Vanaprastha through learning to teach MBSR, I can’t help but notice the pandemic giving me daily invitations of Sannyasa as well; I’ve tried to take a dose whenever possible. While I have no interest in becoming a monk and renouncing family and friends–though an 8-day silent retreat is sublime every few years–I do see the benefits (calmness, clarity, meaning) of leading a more simple life.

“Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb nail.” — Henry David Thoreau, Walden

There are no silver linings to the pandemic (that phrase is a pet peeve of mine), but there are opportunities for reframing — a recalibration of what’s important, and what contributes to a happy, healthy, and successful life. For me, I’ve tried to let go of things I cannot control (like other people’s happiness or judgments about me), to make better choices with how I treat my body, to devote all of me to make an impact at work, to learn how to live with less things, and most importantly, to be the best father, husband, and friend I can be. What might it be for you?